Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.