I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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