i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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