Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize