DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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