how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
