I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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