Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
