We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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He came all over her clothes we have to leave
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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