i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
two words...techno handjob
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
