is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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