All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
