If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Still dying that you shit outside
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize