I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
