How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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