i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
