The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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