you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish you could order shots online.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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