in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I intend to get homeless drunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
