Small penises have feelings too.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Randomize
