Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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