ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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