Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my poor anus
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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