Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think your dad took our porno
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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