Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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