yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
