even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
