soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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