Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dignity is for republicans.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never underestimate the power of titties
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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