i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult