i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.