mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.