just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question