I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
