sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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