He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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