I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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