So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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