I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize