yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
