So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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