none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
