She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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