that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
