Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
