Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..