we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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