he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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