thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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