How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
