You surviving the open bar?
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Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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