it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
