Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
